There’s a particular word that makes most moms roll their eyes so hard they see the back of their skull:

Balance.

As in…

“Just find more balance.”
“Maybe you need better balance between work and home.”
“You’re overwhelmed? Try balancing your schedule.”

Balance implies you’re doing something wrong.
Balance implies there is a magical middle point where everyone’s needs get met and you get a gold star for performing motherhood perfectly.

But here’s the truth no one wants to say out loud:

Moms don’t need balance. They need SUPPORT.

Because right now, the reason you're drowning has nothing to do with a color-coded calendar.

It's because of this:

You’re Carrying Everyone’s Schedule — Alone

You know everyone’s dentist appointments, school deadlines, medication refills, class parties, snack duties, and emotional weather patterns.

Meanwhile, no one knows when your next appointment is… because you haven’t had one in months.

This isn’t “organization.”
It’s unpaid labor disguised as competence.

You’re the Default Parent (But Didn’t Sign Up for the Position)

You don’t remember applying for the job,
and yet you’re the one they call,
every time,
for everything.

Forgotten lunch?
Mom will fix it.

Teacher email?
Mom will respond.

Kid meltdown?
Mom will hold it together.

Everyone else’s world runs smoothly because you're the grease, the glue, and the emergency contingency plan.

You Never Get Uninterrupted Time (And It’s Driving You Bananas)

You can’t finish a thought.
A task.
A shower.
A sentence.

Even the dog scratches at the door when you try to pee alone.

This isn’t “life.”
It’s a constant state of cognitive interruption.

Brilliance cannot bloom in the cracks between “Mom!” and “Mom?” and “Where’s my—MOM!”

You Feel Guilty for Wanting Time to Yourself

You set a boundary and immediately question whether you’re a bad mother.

You ask for help and feel the need to apologize.
Or over-explain.
Or justify why you deserve basic human rest.

Here’s what I want every mother to hear:

Needing space doesn’t make you selfish.
It makes you HUMAN.

Your Partner Doesn’t See the Invisible Workload

Sure, they might help.
But the planning?
The noticing?
The anticipating?
The emotional load?

That’s all you.

And if you have to ask for help, that’s not help.
That’s delegation.

You don’t need a co-pilot.
You need an actual partner.

So What Do Moms Actually Need?

Not more balance.
Not more hacks.
Not a prettier planner.

You need:

✨ Uninterrupted time that is yours
✨ A partner who carries mental load without prompting
✨ Boundaries that don’t come with guilt hangovers
✨ Support that is proactive, not reactive
✨ Space to be more than someone else’s everything

Balance is a myth used to sell moms the idea that if they just try harder, they won’t feel like they’re drowning.

But you’re not drowning because you’re weak.

You’re drowning because the system is built on your unpaid, unacknowledged, unrelenting labor.

And I’m here to tell the truth:

You deserve support.
You deserve ease.
You deserve to feel human again.

And that starts with rewriting the rules — not for motherhood, but for YOURSELF.

Here’s to the mothers rewriting the rules —
raising families and raising themselves.

— Nancy Depina 🔥
Queen of The Badass Momifesto